how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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