my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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