This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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