thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my sisters under your porch take her home
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
