I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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