I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
