he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
