oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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