Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
