After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
