it hurts more in the daytime
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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