Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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