what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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