i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
