Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't deserve a penis
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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