farters have to be the big spoon...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
