Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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