Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
