We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
