am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
