Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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