What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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