So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
