youre lurking in front of me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
