Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
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