I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
