i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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