Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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