What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize