YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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