This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
