so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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