Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
