I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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