did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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