y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
