Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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