You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
