the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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