Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my poor anus
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
