I think my vagina is haunted
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
