Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize