i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
