the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
