One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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