Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think your dad took our porno
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
