Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize