when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
