By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
