You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
