hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
