My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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