my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
