People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
