She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
