i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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