I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
